In my quaint little corner of the South Coast that I call my hometown, there comes a marked point every year when spring has finally sprung. People mill about in activewear and sailing gear, going to the grocery store in flip flops and denim shorts. Living by the sea has its perks (less so now that I live in the hideously humid concrete jungle that is London) but for the less sport-oriented of us, it can be a real bitch. What is the answer? DENIAL.
I believe strongly that there are exercise people and there are non-exercise people. I am a non-exercise person. I should do it, but I don’t want to, so I won’t. Luckily I can trick anyone gullible enough into believing this is a real cricket jumper and not a £6.99 garment from H&M that cricket is my sport of choice. How stupid they will feel when they ask me what team I play for, and I ask “does Arsenal count”?
The truth is, I shall carry on doing this until I begin to melt from the insane city heat because here, there is some sort of bizarre stigma against men in shorts. Can we end this please, Londoners? As it comes into summer, I won’t be adhering to this insane unwritten law. Until then, I’ll fake it till I make it and stay in my wonderful bubble of denial.
Rollneck – Topman, Jumper – H&M, Trousers – H&M, Sneakers – Asos